Hey friends! Welcome to the first blogpost of 2022! Today's blogpost comes with a video (click Here to watch it). This is part of a series I am doing on instagram called "Tea and a Reasonin'." The Jamaican in me is an avid tea drinker and lover, so it's only right that tea be included. Additionally, in Jamaica we use the term "reasonin'" to describe discussion. Hence Tea and a Reasonin'. I'm very excited to share this series with you. It's a series where we drink tea and talk about various topics (feel free to make suggestions). There will be twelve episodes this year, some of which will come with a blogpost like this one! I truly hope you enjoy them!
Let's talk about emotions.
What is an emotion? An emotion is a reaction, response or feeling evoked by one's circumstances, mood or relationships etc. Some examples are: melancholy, sadness, excitement, joy, love, jealousy, anger, peace, fear etc. We all have them. The question stands however, how do we manage and move through these complex feelings? This is where emotional intelligence comes in. What is emotional intelligence? I think emotional intelligence involves the ability to name the emotion that we are feeling and manage it in a way that allows us to grow and understand ourselves. It is the ability to not act out irrationally, but instead, acknowledge the feeling, accept it and explore the root of it. Of course it definitely takes a while to get to this point. if you think about a child, when they are experiencing anger for example, they throw tantrums (might include sitting in the middle of the sidewalk and refusing to get up, or screaming in the grocery store aisle etc). That's one example of emotional immaturity. At this point they don't know better. Fast forward to let's say teenage years, the teen might be experiencing bullying at school and they come home and slam the door because they are sad, embarrassed, and angry. This might be an attempt to try to shut people (could be mom or dad) out who might be trying to figure out what's wrong. As we grow and go through life depending on our level of self awareness or willingness to strive towards becoming self aware, we learn to develop emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is important because we can't have adults sitting in the middle of the sidewalk refusing to walk or screaming in the grocery store aisle. Not knowing how to handle our emotions as adults can translate into screaming matches, broken relationships, confusion etc. It is not the easiest quest I admit. Emotions can be confusing. Sometimes they come and we are caught off guard. One thing that gets in the way of developing emotional intelligence is judgement. We experience an emotion that is less than pleasant and we start to think "I'm a bad person for feeling this way" or "there's no reason to be feeling this way." When we do this we deny ourselves the opportunity to explore the roots of why we feel a certain way, which also robs us of the opportunity to learn and grow.
I know it's uncomfortable when the less than positive emotions arise. Everyone wants to be happy all the time, no one wants to experience sadness or jealousy or anger etc. However, in order to truly appreciate the positive emotions, the less than positive emotions are needed. We are not going to be happy all the time and that is absolutely okay. I want to encourage us that emotions are cyclical and transient. They come and go. One feeling will not last forever. So, embrace them and be gentle with yourself. Yes, embracing uncomfortable emotions is easier said than done. As someone who has a very low threshold for pain I can truly say embracing sadness (whether it be from losing a loved one, a relationship an opportunity etc.) is not a walk in the park. Embracing anger will feel counterintuitive because we've all been socialized to think anger is a terrible thing to experience. However, feeling your emotions, whether good or bad is not an issue. Your feelings are valid, always. Our emotional intelligence or lack thereof (lol!) shows up in our reaction to said emotion. Even the Bible gives us permission to be angry, it says in Ephesians 4:26 "Be angry, and sin not". This means we can feel our anger but not react in a way that will hurt ourselves or others. God created us with the ability to feel all of these emotions. I mean imagine how unseasoned life would be if we were emotionless creatures, eww! We wouldn't be capable of love, joy, nothing! I don't know about you but I don't love that for us. In order for us to be the beautiful creation of God all emotions are necessary. Feeling is literally what it means to be human.
I'd like to end with this. No one is completely emotionally intelligent. As much as we'd all like to say "oh yeah I pull out my journal and process my emotions in a healthy way" or "I talk to myself as my emotions arise to ensure I react in a healthy way". We are all learning. Once we are alive, we are constantly improving and growing. So if you have moments where uncomfortable emotions arise and you act out, be gentle with yourself, there will be many opportunities to try again. Like I said emotions are cyclical. Love your emotions, and embrace them because they are here to remind us of our humanity and teach us about ourselves. Trust the process. Trust God in the process and tek time (be gentle) with yourself in the process.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below! Check out the previous blogpost
Until next time, Wishing you holistic health <3
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